Ah, FOX......Trying Harder....

So Sunday was a very special viewing evening for me. My two hour block of cartoons are back on FOX. The Simpsons, King of the Hill, Family Guy, and American Dad - what a lovely, sexy line-up. And where is the show I bitch about on this blog? Where, oh where, is that piece of shit THE WAR AT HOME? I think Thursdays........I really don't give a fuck. Thank you, FOX.....thank you SO MUCH. Now work on getting ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT back and.....oh, I know........hehehehehe, a girl can dream can't she?

The FYYFF-ies - Week 4

....and cue the evil Star Wars music. This week's winner is the biggest Dick of them all......




VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY

How do we loathe Dick? Let us count the ways:

1 - He snapped when asked about his lesbian daughter's pregnancy. In an interview with Wolf Blitzer, Dick told Wolf he was out of line when asked about it. Um, Dicky honey? You're with the Republican party. Ask them to remind you about their stance on such same sex parenting issues. I'm SURE they'll fill you in.

2 - Poo-poo'd the suggestion that blunders dealing with Iraq may have hurt the administration's credibility by calling it "hogwash". Bull poo-poo, Dick. BULL POO-POO.

3 - Dick defended Donald Rumsfeld for doing a "superb job" in his six years in the Bush administration. Wow, Dick. Can you say "oblivious"? Sure you can.......

4 - Things are about to possibly get messy with the whole "Libby" Scooter trial coming up. It just occurred to me....Bush, Rove, Cheney. The trifecta from Hell.....but I digress........

5 - Even fellow Republicans are starting to be uncomfortable with Dick. And who can blame them? I for one find it HYSTERICAL........maybe they can take him hunting...

The FYYFF-ies - Week 3

Well, this week, it's too easy. Yet, it is definitely deserved. This week's FYYFFie goes to..............



ISAIAH WASHINGTON

Dear Mr. Washington:

Shut up. Shut the fuck up. PLEASE shut the fuck up.

So let me see if I got this straight. You make a homophobic slur on the set of GREY'S ANATOMY in October of '06. Then there was an apology (inappropriateblahblah). Then T.R. Knight, your co-star and victim of said slur, comes out due to the incident. Then you deny using the slur while with your castmates at the Golden Globes by....using the slur. (The footage from that backstage incident is priceless. Patrick Dempsey is smirking so hard while trying not to kill you that I laughed outloud.) Then you apologize AGAIN for using the slur (unacceptableblahblah). Now GLAAD is pissed, your co-stars are pissed, my guess is Ellen Degeneres is pissed (T.R. was on the show.......yup, he said you used the slur you say you didn't....sorry, gotta believe him.), and I'm giving you a FYYFFie, you complete and utter tool.

So I reiterate - shut up. Shut the fuck up. PLEASE shut the fuck up.

Tiara Size Please.....The Epilogue

Thank you for this Stephen.
And thank you Jobie as well......

***************************************************

"There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one you in all time, this expression is unique.

And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium, and be lost.

The world will not have it.

It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how it compares with other expressions.

It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly - - to keep the channel open.

You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.

You have to keep open and aware to the urges that motivate you.

Keep the channel open.

No artist is ever pleased.

There is no satisfaction whatever at any time.

There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."
- Martha Graham to Agnes DeMille

Tiara Size Please.....

....oh I just don't know. So I have a kid show opening up soon. It's a great role - Horton the Elephant in SEUSSICAL. The character has some really beautiful songs. The cast is great. The set and props are great as well. It's just......I don't know.....it's not the experience I thought it would be. Several elements have been lacking and they run the gamut. I'd get into details, but I think it may cause serious problems. Maybe I'm expecting too much. Or maybe the lack of communication is there. Whatever the specifics are, I can't seem to settle comfortably into this show. A castmate said to me, after I praised another castmate, "They love you too....you know that, don't you?" I didn't respond because, to me, I didn't know it. I'm still frustrated with character and choices and costume and props and I feel like I personally need more time, not audiences. It's weird to have people say you're doing really good work when you feel that you haven't even grasped the basics yet. And when that happens, I get grumpy. And I don't like being grumpy, nor do I like it when theatre makes me that way.

Ah well...............

Curse you, Possible Boy.....

So.....on a whim, last Saturday, I put my phone number on the charge slip for the waiter at a restaurant I was dining at.

He called 5 days later. We chatted and agreed upon getting a drink.

I saw him that night at his place of employment. We chatted some more.

The next day I left him a phone message.

The next day I texted him to enjoy going to see Margaret Cho.

I have not heard from him.

The End.

The moral: Boys can suck, and not in the good way.

The FYYFF-ies - Week 2

Well, here we are again. I suppose giving it to the President for his "third-time-is-a-charm" deployment policy would be an obvious choice. But I've gone another direction. This week's award goes to a trifecta of catty Hell:



BARBARA AND DONALD AND ROSIE - OH MY!!!!!

These three have reminded me what high school used to be like. Donald said that to Barbara, Barbara didn't say that to Donald, Donald called Rosie this and that, Rosie bitches at everyone.....and blah blah blah. OH MAH GAWD DEBBIE!

Now, this is more of a "look at the FYYFFie and get on with your lives". I kinda respect Barbara Walters. But there is a mess on The View and she needs to fix it - NOW. Make some changes or get out, honey. You don't need this aggravation.

With Rosie, I do like her. But she's slowly losing it on national television. First there was the Gay Gaiken/Kelly Dippa "hand" incident (such a goddamn non-issue blown out of proportion by the Queen of Nice), then the "Ching Chong" incident (or as I call it, Michael Richards Disease), and now this. The girl's in a tail spin. Will she pull her ass out of it? The world is on pins and needles and koosh balls.

And Donald? I can't take that jackass seriously - not with that Sasquatch upon his melon.

So please....PLEASE......fess up, make up, and SHUT UP!

FYYFFies all around!!!

Now let's not speak of this EVER AGAIN.....AND I MEAN IT!!!!!!

Mahvelous Party -*hic*

Good Night Nurse! My birthday wingding this past Saturday was a huge success. My only complaint is that I didn't have enough vodka. Next time, one whole bottle for my friend Mark, and another bottle for 20 party guests. That should do it. Now comes the fun part of trying to remember who gave me what...... Big kisses to all who attended!!!!!!

Kudos to the roomie for cleaning the bathroom so well, it was restored to it's natural color (white.....who knew???). He did much more than that too. He was like my personal monkey butler that evening. You're the best, Shane!!!!!!

That being said, this age I am now isn't sitting well with me yet. I'm sure in time it will......you know, when I'm 84, I'll look back on this and LAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH...

The FYYFF-ies

I'd like to try and do something every Friday for 2007.
I'd like to give some lame-ass attempt at an award.
I've said I'm not the greatest at this kind of thing, but when I get riled up, I want to call people on their shit.
I'd like to name the award/s the FYYFFies (Fuck You, You Fucking Fuck -ies)
It may have already been done. If it has been, I'll change it.
In any event, this week's FYYFFie goes to..............



PAT ROBERTSON

Oh my, SO many reasons why this tool should get this award. But we will deal with the most recent heavenly prediction:

VIRGINIA BEACH, Virginia (AP) -- Evangelical broadcaster Pat Robertson said Tuesday that God has told him that a terrorist attack on the United States would cause a "mass killing" late in 2007.
"I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear," he said during his news-and-talk television show "The 700 Club" on the Christian Broadcasting Network.
"The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."
Robertson said God told him about the impending tragedy during a recent prayer retreat.
God also said, he claims, that major cities and possibly millions of people will be affected by the attack, which should take place sometime after September.


Pat, Pat, Pat......the next time you talk to God, ask him why in the Holy Hell did he pick you to speak through? Not only did God "tell you this", he's also made comments about Ariel Sharon (God GAVE him a stroke for ceding Israeli-controlled land to the Palestinians), Bush (easily win re-election....if 51% is easily winning), and tsunamis (the US would be hit with one) among other things.

Pat, Pat, Pat......press God for the really big topics. You know, things people really want to know about, and not shit that annoys or possibly scares. Like will K-Fed ever recover? Or who's going to win the major sporting events in 2007 (think of the money for your church....and I know you have, you greedy prick). Or when you'll get off the gay man's back and let him live in peace. Or where the rest of us can get the stuff you are smoking and how we can legalize it (STOP BOGARTING THE GOOD SHIT, PAT!!!!)

Robertson has said "I have a relatively good track record. Sometimes I miss."

Pat, you miss a lot.

This FYYFFie is for you!

Happy New Year, Republican Shits!!!!

Happy 2007 everybody! I say welcome to it!

I survived New Year's Eve at a wonderfully gay soiree (THANK YOU RYAN!!!!)! I met several nice gay men (which shouldn't surprise me....I know they are out there, but it just did that's all) and ran into two people who graduated the year after I did from my high school. THAT was trippy because I vaguely remembered one and not really remembered the other. Then I spent a good part of the evening wondering "if I knew them in high school, did I like them?" Couldn't figure it out......but on NYE, they were great!

Had a birthday. *Sigh* Yes I'm older. 'Nuff said.

Not working on my birthday (I always take that day off), imagine my surprise when I got called by one of my favorite co-workers in the world (she's a great friend too)and told my boss got fired that day. Happy Birthday to me, INDEED.

Rehearsals are going pretty well. And my friend Stephen posted birthday wishes and completely-uncalled-for-but-blushingly-appreciated praise. You HAVE to come see this show if you can!! It will be a hoot. And the sexy men.....dear CHRIST, the sexy men......